The pacifier of the battles!

The tumult in the heart for an impending disaster,

With the clamour in the mind for possible solutions,

The weather of the soul and day shake hands in friendship,

The horrendous rivers cry and shout at the highest pitch,

They hit my soul like a sharp axe hits the trunk of the tree,

Left are the shattered leaves and branches of my wisdom.

 The uproar of winds and water frighten me from within,

The vehement screeching of the mind ends up in vain,

Like the assortment of violent winds troubling the heart,

The direction is lost and the heart wants to go with the wind,

But the brain contradicts and opts for the safer bridge,

Either way the battle is lost for the soul in this moment of outrage.

As I wait for the clashes of winds outside and within me to subside,

The rain takes a momentary pause for the turmoil to stop,

The clouds step aside and the moon shines bright,

The darkest corner of the mind and the street has got its light,

The result of the battle is hidden right in the light of enigmatic moon,

With the artificial light it pours upon it still got a soothing smile.

As I stare at sky studded with stars gleaming but cursed with oblivion,

The mysterious moon shines the brightest and pacifies the soul,

With the ambiguity it revolves around itself,

The deciphering of the direction is the help it offers to the human mind,

Whilst the rain had its share of trouble to the soul,

And the furore sets aside with the achievement of direction from the moon.

The Biggest Fear

The biggest thing that haunts us often is not ghosts or horror stories. Neither it’s darkness in the attics of our houses nor the fear of the Devil. The thing that we are often most afraid of is the fear of unknown. The clock ticks for 86400 times every day, yet we can never expect the next move to be thrown in by destiny. We fear everyday how our acts will impact our future and who will enter our lives to annihilate it or make it better.

Some philosophers have often said that the biggest fear lurks in the deepest corners of our minds. I never believed in this philosophy and often adopted the all-optimist outlook to eradicate all my fears. Yet these fears come back again and again, the more I try to shoo them away from the superfluous nest they are trying to build in my mind. It was easy at first to suppress the darkness in mind with some illumination but with days the flickers of light has gone and I sit in the darkest corners.

To allow myself to admit this and write about it comes to me as a surprise after days of self-loathing and feeling dead. People close to me would not understand anything about why I am writing this. Maybe I am so good at restraining emotional outbursts and like to carry all the baggage troubling me by myself. Perhaps when I am myself finding it quite strange the phenomena that is affecting me right now that makes me say all this, I wonder how would my near ones take it.

I didn’t have a break-up neither did I fail my exams. I will offer it as a clarification to all those people reading out this who generally jump into generic conclusions from a melancholic write-up. I am writing this because I am not in terms with myself. I am writing this because I am afraid that every day I end up doing so many wrongs and I let it happen. I am writing this because I fear one day will come when I would have created a Frankenstein out of my silly mind. I am writing this because I am not utilising the opportunities and end up defeated with me. Perhaps I have become my biggest enemy who poses all hindrances like self-doubt, ego, self loathing and anger in the path of ingenuity and happiness.

Shakespeare said ‘Men can be masters of their fate’ in the epic political tragedy ‘Julius Caesar’. But what if the master is disillusioned with self and letting the course of fate go awry? What if the fate gets hold of the future because I am too busy doubting self to take charge? What if the fortunate accidents turn into fateful mishaps because I am happy to let the sand of the desert of self-control slip off from my hands? What if I end up in a dark remote room with my dismal thoughts because I feared that sublime thoughts will cast a bright and strong sunshine which will blind my eyes? 

These questions trouble me now and then and I end up surrendering to the pessimist version of myself. Often curtains of dramas like to play a game or visit a relative closes at terrible notes for me. Why it happens to me? This is a question I ask myself every time the answer to which I already know, yet I fail to implement the solutions because I am too afraid to do so.

Through The Window

Through the window, I saw the magical out pour,

The surge of excitement filled my soul,

The glasses were the boundaries that were to be crossed,

To witness the delight flowing outside the window,

It buzzed and thundered vociferously,

I felt the theatrical drama unfold with a spout of lightening,

My heart waited for the next scene to be told,

And it came sudden and clouds cried,

It enthralled the audience with its effective performance,

And the audience rushed for shelter in its riposte,

The lantern swung free in the air,

The trees hurled their branches like a girl’s hair,

It never seemed to cease in its current act,

So enchanting was this exquisite fall,

The thunder came and went like a spirit,

And the residuum was the drops on the leaves,

It settled elegantly at the corner,

Augmenting the grace of lush green leaves,

How I wondered I could be one of them,

The drops that creates the ripples in the soul,

And flows free like the genie set free from the bottle,

The gist of the drama left is in this residual drop,

Flowing freely and occupying its own place in the world,

Bridging the wide doors and crossing the threshold.